i did really believe that thing about jesus being in my heart as a kid - honest

the weather in the greatest state in the whole union is so strange. it's always jumping from rain to sunshine to clouds to rain to hail to different/next/strange. i feels like fall. i like fall best. i like the cool.

bob dylan is playing loud thru my speakers: "it's a hard raaaaaaaaaains agonna fall".

i've felt discouraged about the church today. the church doesn't do a whole lot. it's like there is this epic chasm between what the church once was, in the new testament and also pre-Constantine, and what the church is like today.

what does it mean to live life now with an eternal perspective? the speaker in chapel today briefly mentioned that, and i caught onto that thought and my mind went reeling! reeling! it was like this great moment of realization and understanding. jesus came to give us life, eternal life, right? (yes, sir). i've always operated under the understanding that you live this life, die, and then eternity starts. however, looking back, i don't think this is what jesus, or post-jesus scripture, is saying. i think eternity started when i was a little kid who, without fully understanding what i was a'doing (but who can ever fully understand the grace of G-d) asked jesus into my heart. at the time i thought my heart-beat was jesus, who lived in my heart in a very literal way, hammering a nail into the wall of my heart so he could put up a picture. as a child i honestly believed this. i can still remember what i thought the painting would look like (it was staggeringly beautiful). anyhow!!! anyhow!!, i think that life has started. that my flesh might not, shall we say, "make it" to heaven, but my soul will keep going. perhaps with the removal of my damn body, my soul and spirit will be cleansed (i hope so!). so that was fun for me. to understand that i've already started eternity. i think this is a "correct" thought. i don't really see how this would change a whole lot, i mean, i already know about living for jesus and all that good stuff.


the following is about music, and is pointless
"no one would riot for less" is one of the best songs i've heard. i heard it for the first time a year or two a go when i first saw bright eyes in concert, and tried for a long time to track it down, but could not, to my great sadness. it's on the new album "cassadaga", which has the best album art-work these old eyes have ever seen.

oh, the scene! such a great evil.