reasons why i am a bastard

(one am, didn't proof read, sorry!)


i have an amazing group of friends. i do, i have some of the greatest friends in the world. generally i hang out with about the same 5 or 6 guys, bryn, chaz, javier, grant, andrew, sometimes josiah, but this really has nothing to do with him, he's solid as a true thug for christ. i think that in some ways i'm a bit of a leader of "the group". i have influence on my friends (they have influence on me for sure, but for the point of my story, this is ME time). i feel like i've been the first to do a lot of dumb stuff in the group, making things that shouldn't really be okay, just fine and normal. i was the first to smoke, and i swore this was okay! then came cussing, it's not that big of a deal, i mean, shit, it's just words calm down. lets see, south park, i know grant dug this show, but i got us all watching it a lot. this one seems odd, but when you watch multiple episodes aday you will understand the effect it has on you. i was one of the first to be pretty immoral with a girlfriend in a physical sense, but i hid this on up well, and for a long time. now, i can see how i got my friends into a lot of these things. it wasn't anything sinister on my part, but it was just me living and doing what i wanted and being close to these guys, a lot of us got in to at least some of these things. i wonder if i had taken a strong stand on all these issues, if my brothers would be better off for it. instead of watching south park, what if i had hated sin, like josiah told me to, instead of drinking with chaz and grant, even just a few beers, in the apartment this summer, i'd run and encouraged them to do the same? i could have a lot of what if's at this point in my story, but here's the kicker of the whole sha-bang: i have, you have, influence over people. i could have gone about the from the other end, titled it "reasons why i am awesome" and talked about the times i've taken moral stances, been encouraging, taught others to flee sin, shown love, whatever, becauce i've done this all well and it's been good for me as well as for others, but i think the weight of our sin needs to be understood. sin equals death, the bible tells me so. so, think about how your life is seen by all. most people know or have an idea of your beliefs, so if you want to fuck around, get new beliefs. no not really, just don't fuck around.

us guys are rad. we all love G-d. we all want his will to be done. we all come before him. i love my friends. i hope they don't mind me making an open example of them like this (no one really reads this anyhow). but how much further could we be if we'd never gone into whatever sins. i'm not responsible for anyone's life but my own ( i don't think, i could be wrong.), but i can use my life and my influence for Christ or Satan. two choices.

man, i should have never called darkness light. oops!

i think it's very important to be open about you life, and your sin even. believers need to be real with one another. the master we serve knows us entirely, all will be made plain. if we're open now, we can be changed. it's a sweet deal.

in the book of samuel, Saul sins. David sins. However, G-d seems to reject saul because he defends his sin when confronted, david repents. G-d tells david that Christ himself will come from his line. saul and his family die.