FURTHUR!!!

NOW!, it seems to me that jesus, who i am told i ought be like, wasn't real concerned about productivity. sure he said we need to take good care of the things we have, but this mad race for success is just that, mad. jesus was a big fan of just hanging out. he was always giving people alcohol, or eating with friends and acquaintances, just simply talking with folks at the local hang out (back in the day, they called these hang outs "synagogues", but that’s just a minor technical term). i've been reading "the electric kool-aid acid test". this book follows author ken kesey (one fellow over the cuckoo’s nest) and his merry pranksters. they basically invented "hippie-ism". many folks call kesey the mediator between the beat generation and the hippy generation. kesey and his pranksters had a wonderful zest for life, they were all about engaging in life fully and embracing one another, and seeking truth. they wanted to truly accept everyone as long as they felt that those people where being real. yes, they did tons (i do mean lots and lots and lots, lotslots) of drugs, and had sex with folks they may or may not have been married to, but they had so many things RIGHT!

i'm tired of seeing christians always being so somber. always walking around with down turned heads wallowing in unneeded convictions. we are so sad, and is so sad. i honestly believe that one of the greatest truths christians have missed is the joy and freedom christ gave to us. we'd rather just bullshit about how sinful we are and how we need to be of sober spirit, and reject the joy of the Lord because being the former is easy, it makes sense.

i want none of that. i'm tired of being in dark building with a room full of people who raise their voices half way, singing songs made to provoke that unneeded conviction and sadness to a god they thing is probably disappointed in them. man, i don't get that vibe from christ. do you?

I'm not saying we need to all be hippies (hippies are dirty and smell bad, jesus doesn't want you to smell bad. furthur more, being a hippy is sooo last century). it feels like as a christian we have our "fun time", where we run around and laugh and joke and are free, but then we have our "god time" where we are damn serious, where we reading our bibles with pokerfaces and in all honesty are kind of bored and anticipate the next fun time. i think that our fun time is in truth more G-d time that our god-time is. we are made to enjoy, to laugh, joke, play lava monster when you are at least ten years too old to do such things. this is the freedom we are given by G-d as a beautiful given that we should not waste.

remember those two most important commandments,
1) love G-d
2) love people (as you love yourself)

now, when i think of loving people, how i love my friends (or the way i'd show love to ex-gf's), i talk to them, i hang out with them, i laugh and joke with them, i go to seattle with them, hugs!, i play capture them flag in wal-mart, punch them on the arm, get beat down by andrew when it's lucas/chaz v. andrew, build an awesome raft and cross a mighty rive with the said raft. this is love. this is how people love each other. enjoy each other company. enter act tion! G-d is a part of all of this, he isn't sitting within the leather bindings of your bible, he's right there with you when you are living your life, enjoying all this beauty, so don't act like there is "god-time" and “fun time“, there is only life in christ, and everything is beautiful.

does this make sense? i hope so. it is very important to me. i've spent the last many months in harsh judgment of myself, and also great sadness with the happenings of my family, and i think G-d used these novels to teach my these truths that i'd missed in the bible. i feel very excited right now, and very hopeful and up beat, it's good.