today i read in the bible and it said that i should think about things "above" and not earthly things. what a weird thing to tell me. i was all like "paul you crazy fool, what does this even mean?", but i didn't really say that. i wonder what this does mean tho. should i just think about heaven and not think about what is going on in my life here on earth? i don't think that is it. its like, i should be so consumed with G-d that i don't worry about things here on earth. how rad would it be to be so deeply focused on the kingdom of heaven, that i don't freak out that i have no money, or that my parents don't live together, or that my brother could go back to war. all these earthly things that i get so caught up in that i forget that this is not my home. i am not an american. i am not going to even be here for very long (and either will you). heck, some would say that i do not exist. but what really matters is that i'm focused on G-d and doing his will at all times. i wish my mind set was "how can i further the kingdom of heaven". my mindset is more like "how can i be the most confortable while doing the least work", and that is no good at all.

jesus said the two most important things we can do are to love G-d and to love others. we need to do this. i need to do this. i'm very sick of trying to fufill my own selfish desires because they will never be filled because they are wrong. i should just be filled with the spirit and love people. that would be rad.