free

how free we are. us kids who've been made right in Christ have no worries. its true! so often, again and again - like a fool - and again, i feel everything that stands will go straight to hell with me right along with it. but this is just a lie. when i think i need a new pair of pants to be loved (and i've thought this before, but i never stated it in my mind that way), i'm basicly buying the lie. how free we are from those things. we are to be poor the worlds standards are made rich in the things of true worth. i don't need a suit for anything, so why should i think highly of such things? the man who gives a way all the he has and eats out of the trash is far better than the made who saves all he has so he can eat the best meats and drink the best wine. and i'd rather have nothing than even what i do have, but letting go is so very hard. do you think Christ was joking when he said if anyone wanted to save his life, he must loose it? and if you try and keep your life, you'll get nothing. so, i'm trying to lose my life. i hate that i still hold onto my life. i can't stand it that i can't stand when people do things that i can't stand. i guess that sounds unclear, but what i mean is this: sometimes people get on my nerves just because, and that is not christlike. that is lucas-like, and lucas, but himself, is no good at all. anygood i do is christ in me.

someday i'll be okay. all i want and all i want to want is this: to be like Christ. however!, i'm still in my flesh, and i'm still totally me. and for almost 20 years i was taught that i was number 1 and i was all that mattered, so i'm trying real hard to unlearn these lies. i'm free from all this, and i just need to live like the free man Christ has made me.


another thing i've been thinking about is freedom from sin. alot of folk talk about how when you become a christian you have to give up so much and you lose all your freedom, while you do have to give us "so much", heck, you have to give up everything ever, but you gain your freedom. when i'm living in sin, it isn't me being free and able to sin, its me being trapped and enslaved to sin. Jesus brings freedom from such things and allows us to be who we are meant to be. we shouldn't go on sinning because as followers of Christ, we have to reason to sin. it isn't a part of the new life we've been given.

someday i'll be better than okay. and i think that is now. to be honest, i'm dealing with something i never thought i'd have to deal with (again). its one of the hardest things a person can deal with, yet i feel peace and joy and hope. those three things are things i begged G-d to give to me and he has. G-d is faithful. it is true! even in these dark places light abounds! i feel like i'm learning and growing. i understand that i have much more to learn and i need to change even more, but i honestly believe G-d is pleased with me, and that he loves me.

love. i've been reading thru pauls letters and that guy can't seem to get past the whole "love" thing. now i can't either. paul is always saying things like "in love" and talking about how we should love eachother and how we should love G-d and how love should be everywhere. i want to have love like that. G-d have me peace/joy/hope now i want love. i want to be able to love G-d fully, and to love people the way Christ loved people. how frig'n ultra rad would that be? is there anything greater than love?!? no. no there is not.

so love G-d, and love those whom G-d created (that includes yourself).

and alway rejoice.



(this blog was made without any proof reading or spell checking - sorry!)