movement

nothing is still. it's amazing to me that everything that is, is moving. our cells or atoms or whatevers are bouncing off the walls, like my mind in my 4 hour class or my leg when i sit too long. at the start of this past summer i wanted to stay in salem for a year, but i didn't, and i can't imagine wanting to be there, while it's a place i love, it's not what i want right now. maybe later. when that would be progression. i feel like life is a river. movement. and a river can move forward, can be healthy, can be swift and deep, with direction and a purpose, or in contrast to that, it can be still, flooding where it should not be flooding, not moving in any direction in particular, but just kind of floating along. i see people i know that are like both. sometimes i wonder which i am. i know that i go back and forth, but over all i feel like i have direction, however, most of me just wants to take the easy way and flood, but you and i where not made for this.

i feel like i'm watching people drowned and they have no idea.

i am ashamed by my shortcomings, by my failures.