the last post i wrote was more of the factucal side of bryns wedding, this post will be a bit more reflective. the last one was rather boring.
bryns wedding was one of the best days of my life. it was great. i've had the analogy of the church and christ running thru my mind like none other these past few weeks. i keep listening to sufjan stevens' "Vito's Ordination Song". i love how we, the church, are the bride to the bridgegroom christ. how one day we will become one with christ the way bryn and aubrey became one last saturday. i felt so happy the whole time. not for a moment did i wish it was me getting married, did i feel jealous of bryn, or sad that i wasn't the center of attention. now i say that because that is how i will feel in the presents of G-d, when christ comes in glory, i won't feel anything but intense joy, like i felt for bryn, but so much stronger. (may he come soon!) my love for G-d has grown for true since the wedding, because i see him and my relation to him, in a new light. my understanding of my place is different. it was great being the best man because i was able to be fully involved in everything, even be able to speak my mind in front of all the guest about their marriage for about five minutes, to be as close to the couple as possible without actually mattering. i felt like i was, in a way, a servant. that i was small and, when it came to it, unimportant, but also fully invited and that my presents was wanted there in that place, in that moment. that moment could have taken place with or without me. this is my place in christ. i don't matter, i am small and unimportant, yet loved and desired, but not the center. it's a very freeing realization to make. it makes me desire to be that servant, christ tells me that is who i should be, and i want to be that. the wedding hit that home for me. may i become less, so he can become greater!
on a slightly different note, it was great being around bryns folks, all the older generation, because we, the groomsmen, where treated as equals, we weren't kids any more. when you grow up knowing people as adults and yourself as a child, it's rad to acecpted as an adult, and about frig'n time! we were asked to do adult things and were expected to be grown up, yet still encouraged to have fun with the whole event. i remember always being slightly intimated by bryns dad when i was younger (never on perpose!), he has a stern air about him sometimes, but i loved being around him, and joking with him, watching him watch his son get married. i loved seeing my dad there too, it meant a lot to me that he came. i was sad that my mom didn't go, but i could see why she thought it would have been awkward. this again stresses the importance of marriage.
i felt proud of who i was that day. bryns best man. walking around in a tux with the groomsmen, who are, coincidentally, my best friends (lacking andrew tho). it was fun knowing people looked at us and knew who we were without knowing us as individual people. i liked shouting "groomsmen assemble" and we'd all come together. i liked being a sort of a leader among the groomsmen. i liked making the toast. all this reminds me of my relationship to christ. in him, i know who i am, being a part of the groomsmen who can be likened to the church, and you can carry this further with my calling and desire to be a leader in the church like my roll as bestman, which gave me a leader roll in a few ways in the wedding and with the batloure party. we were known as groomsmen by our tuxes, our wedding clothes, and as a christian i should be known as a follower by my love, and i like the idea that love can be as visibly a sign as my identity in christ as my tux made it clear i was in the wedding.
the slow walk down the aisle with all the groomsmen with their corresponding bridesmaids reminds me of the excitement of the marriage of christ to his church. it's been a long time since the engagement, and it might be longer yet, but that marriage is coming. i wonder if it's more of christ waiting for us than us waiting for me. there is nothing holding G-d back from us, i don't think (i could fully be wrong, i'm just spitting out thoughts), but we have to prepare ourself the church, walk our aisle, before our marriage to the groom. i like that the bride spent time making herself look as beautiful as possible for her husband before she was given to him.
i like that bryn never chased after girls. he didn't date around. he wasn't always thinking about girls as possibilities. yet he got married first of all the guys group guys (an accountability group i was in with a lot of my closed brothers in high school days). in fact i can't really recall bryn talking about which girls he liked back in the pre-aubrey days, there were a few i suppose but he always seemed very content with being single and waiting of what G-d had for him. now he was a wife. everyone says he's real young to get married, but he's not young, he's a full grown man. i admirer bryn in so many ways. paul tells wives to love their husbands and i highly doubt that this will be a problem for aubrey, i mean sure bryn can be a bit goofy, but he's fully dedicated to christ, and he's disciplined in his pursuit of the Lord.
one day we will be with G-d and all these analogies we have will be stripped away, and it will just be us and Him. it will be the real thing. that will be the greatest moment.
Sufjan Stevens - Vito's Ordination Song
" i always knew you
in your mothers arms
i have called your name
i have an idea
placed in your mind
to be a better man
ive made a crown for you
put it in your room
and when the bride groom comes
there will be noise
there will be glad
and a perfect bed
and when you write a poem
i know the words
i know the sounds
before you write it down
only wear your clothes
i wear them too
i wear your shoes
and your jacket too
i always knew you
in your mothers arms
i have called you son
ive made amends
we should be father and son
or if you havent one
rest in my arms
sleep in my bed
there is a design
to what i did and said"
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