religious

this is my last week of school for the year, it's "finals" week. i'm glad to be done. i still don't know what to do about next year. (about the devil town.). right now i'm just sitting in my room, which is almost entirely empty, listening to some music, not sure what to do with the moment. i kinda want to go downtown, but everything would be closed, and i don't want to watch anything, i might just read. i should study. but that's lame. i've just about finished "siddhartha", and it's a good read. it makes me thing about spiritual things, "truths", if you will. at work this weekend, i got into two brief, but interesting conversations about religion. sometimes i feel so lost in all of this. i am a christian, i believe in christ and the bible and all those lovely things, but i also feel do distant from christianity as a religion. maybe because i don't go to church on sundays, but i doubt it's that. being a bible college has, in some ways (and due to my reaction to it), caused me to feel far from things i once embraced. i can't stand most things "christian" anymore. i hate modern christian culture (if you haven't, watch that interview with david bazan a few posts back). i read a lot of non-christian books, and i think this is a good thing for me as a person, but as a main-stream-modern-america-christian, it might be quite un-good (perhaps even double plus). so i don't know. i don't feel like i've got any profound answers about things, but i can't say i like this religious vibe i've been getting from christianity. i can say that i'm far from being "religious" myself. i am spiritual for sure, but i can't say i'm as close to
G-d as i'd like to be.

i don't know what to do with all my socks that have holes in them either, maybe i'll just ignore that problem.