more answers than questions, and not in a good "that all makes sense to me" way.

it is 3 in the morning, this is what is on my mind:

why can't i get a straight answer in this religion? ask 10 different christians one question, and almost everything response, if not all, will be very different. things as basic as salvation people say lots of different things about what is required to be saved. tonight i asked a man about something and he gave me a good answer, one that i would not disagree with, but now i can't stop think about all the contradiction in this "faith" of mine (ours). i hate it. more than anything it causes me to want to leave it altogether. i'm so tired of hearing all these different anwsers. and it isn't like christianity is some beautiful mosaic of truths, we're a fucking mess and we don't know a goddamn thing. everything thinks they have all the answers and know the truth entirely. i want to quit. it depresses me to hear about two churches doing two polar opposite things, but both proclaim that their way is the true way. isn't someone wrong? or is anything anyone labels as "true" gospel truth? no no, i don't believe that. i hate that i feel like i can't trust what anyone says, and i do honestly feel this way. i can't stand it. i try to discern what i believe from scripture alone, but there is so much there, and so many ways to look at things. "when jesus said this, he really meant this", or "this command was only meant for so and so, back when and when". i hate it. these feeling are a bit exaggerated right now because i'm so tired and when i write everything sounds worse than it really is most of the time, but i can't shake this feeling. it makes me want to just get a car and drive around the country and not think about such things.

to yet again quote mewithoutYou,

"If I ask the same questions. Well maybe I repeat myself from time to time, But it's because everyone who answers me is a liar." ,

i wish it was like this: question+anwser=true, however it is more like:
question < answers=???

(another post w/o proof reading, sorry about any mistakes in either spelling, grammar or theology)