hope in what

often times, i find myself placing my hope in strange things. like pants. i would not wear baggy pants. i hope that by my pants people will think that i am cool and thus, accept me. i first put hope in appearance, and then secondly in people's approval. mostly i put hope in a college education. i feel that if i fail at college, then my life will be forfeit, and if i do well here, then the rest of my life will be okay, because i went to college damn it! i do not put my hope in G-d nearly enough. i do not feel that G-d will provide for me, that he will take care of me. there have been times in the past that because of my failures, i've told G-d that my life is forfeit and worthless and he should just end it now! sometimes i can be a little dramatic with my words to G-d.

i'd like to get a place where no matter what happens, i have faith in G-d and his provision.

i am not saved by pants, or college, or people. i am saved by Christ alone, and this is where my hope belongs.

i'd like to be content with having only food and covering, and the knowedge of i am loved by my G-d.